De-Scalers Essay Example for Free

De-Scalers Essay When water is heated limescale deposits can form, especially in machines such as fully automatic coffee makers, espresso machines and all hot water units. In this context you often hear about hard and soft water. The hardness of the water indicates the proportion of limescale. Your water supply company will provide more information about hardness of your water. If your groundwater flows through calcareous rock layers, eroded magnesium and calcium carbonate will cause limescale deposits in your water. Why do I need to remove limescale? In addition to loss of coffee flavor limescale deposits can severely damage your machine and shorten its lifespan significantly. Limescale deposits in your machine lead to: Longer scalding time with higher electricity charges Lower water temperatures causing inferior coffee flavor Blocked machines pipe Corrosion of metal parts and sealing gaskets Expensive repairs Only regular and timely descaling with a high-quality descaler, such as ceragol ultra Premium Descaler, ensures a long lifespan and optimal coffee flavor. Your coffee maker is a high-tech machine which needs regular, gentle care. What do you expect from your descaler? Limescale deposits are removed by acids in the descaler. Only the right mixture of effective acids and gentle additives for the metal parts and sealing gaskets allows for optimal results during descaling. The quick reaction time and immediate reusability of the machine after rinsing are basic demands on a premium descaler. Why amidosulfonic acid? Descaling with citric or acetic acids The big problem when descaling with citric or acetic acids are the released flavor additives which cause an obtrusive smell during descaling. The plastic parts of your fully automated coffee maker tend to taken on these smells and influence the smell and taste of your coffee negatively. Plastic parts and sealing gaskets of your unit can be attacked by the vinegar or acetic acid. Citric acid tends to flake during descaling. This can block the valves and water pipes and lead to high repair charges. An additional problem is that the limescale is actually sealed in by an indissoluble layer which occurs repeatedly when using descalers based on citric acids. Descaling with vinegar, acetic acid or citric acid takes significantly longer than descaling with ceragol ultra Premium Descaler. Descaling with amidosulfonic acid Descaling with amidosulfonic acid, the active ingredient of our ceragol ultra Premium Descaler, does not require any reaction time. During the descaling program the limescale is dissolved and flushed away. This process is completely odorless and neutral in taste. After thorough rinsing your machine is once again food-safe. The additives in ceragol ultra Premium Descaler guard and protect the metal and plastic components of your fully automatic coffee maker. The right time to descale Automatic coffee machine w. auto descaling indicator Please ask your water supply company about the hardness of your water and set the water hardness according to the operating instructions of your manufacturer. Your machine will indicate when descaling is needed. Automatic coffee machine w/o descaling indicator Descaling becomes necessary as soon as you notice a delay in operation or irregularities during coffee preparation. Another telltale sign is the reduction of the amount of foam produced on the coffee. The machine must be descaled periodically and in due time.

The Effects Of Teenage Childbearing Children And Young People Essay

The Effects Of Teenage Childbearing Children And Young People Essay Sadly, pregnant teenagers in society today are too often labeled as sluts . While the majority of gilrs become pregnant by accident, a small number become pregnant on purpose. These girls feel that they will be loved, or have someone to love, or that a missing void in their ife will be filled. Worst of all some girls plan to become pregnant to heal a relationship or to hold on to a boyfriend. The fact is, if two people are in a unstable, struggling relationship, having baby will just bring on more stress and turmoil. For the other girls who become pregnant by accident this is due to carelessness, lack of knowledege, the it can t happen to me attitude, or just really by accident. For many girls, they are under the false pretense thatthey cannot become pregnant the first time they have sex. Not only is this false, but one out of twenty girls become pregnant the first time they have sex, and ninty percent of all teen pregancies occur within the first year of having sex (Guernsey 19-20). Pregnancy is a very serious situation for teenagers, because young teenage bodies are not developed enough then the bodies of women who are over twenty. Due to this, the death rate is sixty percent higher among pregnant teenagers under the age of fifteen than among older girls and women (Gutman 24). Babies born to teenagers are twice as likely to die before their first birthdays than are the babies that are born to women in thier twenties,also teenage babies run a hihger risk of being born premature or being born with mental and physical handicaps (Gutman 25). Some teenagers are afraid to tell someone about their situation, so they do not get pre-natal care which harms both the mother and the baby. When a teenager finds out that she is pregnant, she has three choices: give it up for adoption, keep it, or have an abortion. A large number of these teens choose to have an abortion. Twenty five percent of all abortions are among the teen age population (Bender and Leone 58). For many girls this is an easy way out of a difficult situation and they feel that know one will know that they do not want to know. For some those feelings stay true, but for others a deep sense of depression falls over them for killing something that they made. For other girls that choose not to keep the baby but are against abortion, they give the baby up for adoption. For many girls adoption is a stressful and heart breaking experience, after carrying a baby for nine months and then handing it over to strangers, I don t see how it wouldn t be a heart breaking time. There are agencies that allow mothers to keep in touch with the family, but most girls know that they will never see there baby again. For other girls, they may make all the arrangements for adoption and then after giving birth may change their minds completly and take on their motherly role. For the teens that keep the baby,they encounter a very challenging situation. They have to get proper health care for example. Many girls are forced to drop out of school and get jobs or the father of the baby drops out of school to support his family, if he stays with the mother. Less than one third of teens who have babies finish school before the age of eighteen (www.teenpregnancy.org). Once a teenager has a baby they have to focus on someone other than themselves, which means they can not do what they want when they want anymore. Their lives revolve around their baby and its needs. Many unmarried teen mothers end up poor or on welfare. Every year the federal government spends about forty billion dollars to help teenage mothers (Flinn Hauser 15). However for some teenagers watching their baby grow or the bond that they share is a reward for their hard work. An often over looked part of teenage pregnancy is the role of the father. About 1.1 million males father babies every year (Ayer 27). Approximately ten percent of fathers marry the mother of their baby. Some fathers care for their baby and pay child support but do not stay with the mother, or sadly some fathers refuse resposibility and do not give support in any way. A fatherly role is very important in child raising, so some communities and schools are now starting programs for teenage fathers and educating boys about teenage pregnancy. Many teen fathers may at first feel out of place, scared, and not educated enough to become a father. They may feel that a whole financial burden is now being placed on them, or that they will not be able to provide for their family. This leads to many fathers skipping out on their responsibility. Programs are now being designed to give fathers emotional support so that they will be able to handle becoming a teenage father, and to realize that there are benefits and obligations of fatherhood. As the article states the benefits to children, families, and society of the commitment of fathers are undisputed. Therefore, it is worth the time and effort of schools and community organizations to implement programs for young fathers that will enable them to develop into responsible adults, meet thier obligations, and create a generation of well-nutured and effectively educated children (www.ed.gov.html). For the unfortunate teen that has no support there a teen pregnancy houses that house both mother and child. Many clinics such as Planned Parenthood give free or low cost care to mother and child and offer services to help ease the teens time of confusion. Community-wide teen pregnancy prevention efforts are also underway (Dryfoos 214). The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregancy was organized in 1996 and is focused on reducing the rate of teen pregnany in the United States,to improve the well being of children and to try to reduce child poverty. In conclusion, teen pregnancy is an issue that should be taken seriously. With the growing rate of teenagers getting pregnant every year more steps should be taken to try to eliminate teen pregnancy. Perhaps these steps should be educating children while their younger or a better sense of birth control for teens or showning pictures of abortions, like they did in my high school. This may be cruel, but how many people who see the pictures will want to get this done after they see what it does.Teenagers are using abortions as a way of birth control , they feel that if they become pregnant there is always an abortion. Abortions can not be like that. If more teens are serioulsy educated then possibly less teens will be careless and the rate of pregnany will decrease. It might sound ridiculous, but maybe parents should really give the birds and the bees talk , because if children hear it from their parents they may take sex more seriously. Some children have sex to feel cool or just to fi t in. It cannot be like that and children need to be taught that.Teen pregnancy is a serious risk for both the mother and the child. Many teenagers do not know about these risks and they need to know before it is to late and they are stuck in a situtaion that they can not get out of. The programs for teen fathers are wonderful because they really tell the boys how it is. Many boys do not know the risk of pregnancy and everything that it entails, these prograns will help to work with them and possibly scare them or at least give them a little more knowledge. Having a baby will change a teens whole life and the steps that are being taken will hopefully work to help teen mothers and fathers and help to lower the birth rate in teens. There is many books out that show cases of teen pregnancy, they should be read to get to know the effects that a baby has on a teens life. With the statistics and facts givin, I really learned so much on teen pregancy and hopefully others will to. The amount of school completed for a women affects her life. It also affects her opportunities for marriage, her circle of friends and her income from work, which can also lead to poverty. Girls who give birth during their adolescent years tend to function less effectively in numerous ways than their peers who delay childbearing (Hofferth et al., 2001). However, recent research indicates that many of the negative outcomes of adolescent motherhood, such as low educational achievement and consequent poverty, precede rather than stem from early parenthood (Hofferth et al., 2001). In essence, teenage childbearing adds to the limited prospects of already disadvantaged adolescent girls. These outcomes include poorer psychological functioning, lower rates of school completion, lower levels of marital stability, less stable employment, greater welfare use, higher rates of poverty, and slightly greater rates of health problems for both mother and child as compared to peers who postpone childb earing (Hofferth et al., 2001). Other consequences of teenage pregnancy and motherhood are low-achievement, low-motivation, the teenagers immaturity and lack of success in school which are also linked to the fact that teenage mothers drop out of school (Hofferth et al., 2001). Therefore Hofferth et al. (2001) would expect early child bearers to be less likely than their childless peers to complete high school or at least college. Moore, Manlove, Glei, Morrison (1998) studied adolescent mothers and concluded that early parenthood had a strong negative effect on the educational attainment of girls, such that young mothers were unlikely to continue their education beyond giving birth and thus obtained lower total levels of education than their peers who delayed childbirth. In large part because of low educational attainment, teenage mothers have lower incomes as adults and are more likely to be on welfare than their peers who delay childbirth (Moore et al., 1998). Overall, young mothe rs with a high school degree and work experience, may provide the needed incentive to obtain and maintain stable employment. Mothers with low education skills and poor functioning, or with other family problems, may have great difficulty maintaining stable employment, and thus may suffer a substantial loss in income (Moore et al., 1998). However, parental involvement in their daughterà ¢Ãƒ ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚ ¬Ãƒ ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚ ¢s school such as attending school meetings, participating in school activities, going to their daughters honor ceremony are not related to whether their daughters will become pregnant. Furthermore, adolescents who are involved in religious organizations are less likely to bear a child. Teenage girls who belong to a club or attend church are those who most likely will not bear a child in high school (Moore et al., 1998). Several techniques have been developed to attempt to separate out the effects of background factors which influence both the probability of a teenage birth and the future functioning of the young mother from the effects of early childbearing. For example, a number of studies have compared sets of sisters, one of whom had a child as a teenager and one of whom delayed childbearing until adulthood, in order to control for differences in family background factors commonly found between teenagers who do and do not become young parents (Hoffman, 1998). Such studies found that the effects of teenage childbearing on high school completion and total educational attainment are much smaller than previous studies had indicated. For example, Hoffman, (1998) found that postponing a teenage birth to after the age of 20 would increase the total educational attainment. This study found that having a child before the age of 18 reduces the likelihood of graduation from high school but attaining a GED ( General Equivalency Degree). However, a GED may carry a lower return in future earnings than a high school diploma (Hoffman, 1998). This seems to be possible because of some teenage mothers that have a child and atten school at the same time. This is due to the fact that there all several programs that exists for this matter. There are day cares in the school which watch the child for the teenager while she is in school. There are multiple negative consequences associated with teen pregnancy (Moore et al., 1998). Teenagers who have babies at an early age are less likely to complete high school, and more likely to be on welfare or to work at a job with a low income and experience poverty than women who delay childbearing until an older age (Moore et al., 1998). The disadvantages for teenage girls who bear a child at such a young age reduce their education or employment opportunities. For women who delay pregnancy and childbirth, there are some advantages (Hofferth et al., 2001). The mother is more experienced with life itself, has a better education background and often has a steady job and steady marriage. As life progresses, such factors integrate themselves with life and having a child.

Changes in Gwinnett County :: hometown environment

  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Over time things change. Some things change for the better while other things change for the worse. One thing that’s bound to change though is your environment. Personally I have seen my hometown go through many changes during the eleven years that I have resided in Gwinnett County. A few of the accounts which have changed in my hometown throughout time have been the population including diversity, architecture, and the aspect of the people that grew up with me.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  I first moved to Gwinnett in Nineteen-Ninety Four. At which time I attended elementary school. Now at that time school mostly consisted of African Americans and Caucasians. Now eleven years later you can go back to that same school and now you will see all type of diverse ethnicities in the school such as Bosnians, Haitians, Mexicans, etc. Towns are bound to see new diversities in their area because over time the population will increase. Gwinnett took a drastic increase in population as it was Georgia’s fastest growing County. As you take a look around the community now you can see that there are all different types of ethnic stores and not just Chinese. Now there are Caribbean restaurants as well as Jamaican and Thai. When new cultures move into an area it’s good for the younger population as it teaches them to be more diverse and understand other people.  Ã‚  Ã‚     Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚     Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Architecture is a huge role in my hometown. Since Gwinnett was such a hot County at the time growing up meant that it would bring in a lot of architectural work, which it did. When I first moved here the only stores I can remember besides the gas stations were Winn Dixie, Eckerd, and OZ Video. Now Over the time that same area has went through a drastic change. Now Winn Dixie is Save Rite, OZ video is closed. Along with Eckerd are CVS and Walgreens within a half mile. Another example is that in the beginning the only entertainment was Town Center Cinema which is now a dollar movie and Mardi Gras Arcade which is now gone. When you look around now the area includes AMC theaters as well as the construction of two malls, Discover Mills and The Mall of Georgia. What I am trying to point out is with more population comes more development and my town has seen plenty of it.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  The last part of my hometown which has changed is the safety so to speak.

Masks in The Catcher in the Rye Essay examples -- Catcher Rye Essays

Masks in The Catcher in the Rye What happen if everyone in the world is wearing a mask? That is exactly what this world is; everyone wears a mask. Most people we see every day have their true identity hidden behind a facade. Although a true identity cannot be divulge just by looking, but with a careful scrutiny of one's character will reveal to what is behind the facade. Equivalent to what happened in J.D. Salinger's novel The Catcher in the Rye. Holden Caulfield, a typical teenager in the 50's with a morally loose, rude and obscene personality. However, his rudeness is just a mask that he uses to cover his decent, sympathetic, and mature character inside. Throughout the entire story, Holden uses unchaste language to offense himself. The use of these words may insult the reader, but the truth is, he is building a facade so that he can obtain the approval he feels they have oppose him thus far. As a teenager, the critical period of his life, Holden struggled to find the meaning of life, and his survival, they easily depressed Holden demands their company, even though he calls them "phonies." Holden is really a decent and mature teenager, but he only hides behind the false front to obtain the approval. In the meantime, he tries to find the meaning of his existence. There's Holden's false front, a rude and without standard teen, but what's behind it are important. A decent, sympathetic and mature teen lies behind the mask. The only time he reveals these distinctions is when he comes to some poin... ...true self, his reality. He also delighted by his younger brother, Allie. He stated that Allie is a nice boy. Allie loved to write poems, so he wrote poetry all over his own baseball mitt. Holden kept Allie's baseball mitt after Allie died of leukemia. When his brother died, Holden was so upset that he broke all the windows in the garage with his fists. Subsequently, Holden wanted to be the "Catcher in the Rye," but he now realized that he cannot "catch (or safe) all the children that started to go over the cliff." Thus, Holden's mask is just a false front, a facade. But what's behind it is the most important. He uses the language to find the meaning of life, his existence. The true Holden shows his decent heart, sympathy and maturity.

Agamemnon :: Agamemnon

Agamemnon Communication In Aeschylus’s, Agamemnon, there is a great possibility that the death of Agamemnon could have been prevented, had the Chorus simply listened to Cassandra’s prophecy. But the words spoken between the two parties seem to have loss it’s meaning when it fell upon the Chorus; yet, they were obviously hearing what she was saying. But while they were hearing what she had to say, they did not listen to her words. Ironically, in this story, it is the women who posses all the knowledge. But once they try to share it, the men, who later suffer the consequence, ignore them. People only listen to what they want to hear, and a woman’s word is not considered important enough to listen to. Klytaimestra has thought up an ingenious plan to uncover the outcome of the Trojan War as quickly as possible; however, when she tries to share the news, the Chorus castoffs her declaration. This constant stichomythia between the Chorus and Klytaimestra annoys her because of the persistent disbelief, â€Å"And you have proof?/That, or a phantom spirit sends you into raptures† (272-274). The Chorus, which consists of men, do not accept that a woman can have any sort of knowledge before they do. They dismiss her claims until they hear it from a male messenger, which makes Klytaimestra very angry: â€Å"I cried out long ago!/You made me seem deranged† (580-586). Further, when she explains how she discovered the outcome, the men automatically assume that because she is a woman, she got her information from gossiping. â€Å"Just like a woman/to fill with thanks before the truth is clear . . . So gullible. Their stories spread like wildfire,/they fly fast and die faster;/ rumours voiced by women come to nothing.† To the Chorus, a woman to devise a plan as clever as Klytaimestra’s, is inconceivable. But even after Klytaimestra’s facts are proven, the Chorus will later undermine her abilities again. After coming out of the house with blood stained hands while announcing her murder, all the Chorus can do is talk about what a great loss they suffer. They accuse Klytaimestra for being a backstabber, and tell her she should be punished. When Klytaimestra defends her actions by pointing out how Agamemnon killed her daughter, they ignore her and keep mourning. Even though they can see with their own eyes that Klytaimestra killed her husband and Cassandra, they still refuse to really listen to her, as if they do not want to believe that a woman committed the murder of their almighty king.

The Three Paths of Salvation in the Bhagavad-Gita

Bhagavad Gita through the Lord Krishna primarily advocates three spiritual paths towards attaining spiritual salvation, namely Karma Yoga, Jhana Yoga and Bhakti Yoga. The online Indian Purans describes these three paths as follows: Karma Yoga, the as the path of action; Bhakti Yoga as the path of love; and Jnana or Dhyana as the path of wisdom (www. indianet. zone, 2008). The Three Paths for Salvation Karma Yoga is articulated by the Lord Krishna to Arjuna when he exhorted the latter, â€Å"Perform your prescribed duty, for doing so is better than not working. One cannot maintain one’s physical body without working†. On what manner or under what circumstance that work should be done, the Lord Krishna further elaborated, â€Å"Work done as a sacrifice to Vishnu has to be performed, otherwise work causes bondage in this material world. Therefore, O son of Kunti, perform your prescribe duties for his satisfaction, and in that way you will always remain free from bondage (Prabhupada, p. 94-95)†. This exhortation is for the path seeker to dedicate his mundane works to the Lord Vishnu. The fruits of his labor should not be served for sense gratification. Dhyana Yoga, calls for one to possess the proper knowledge to know the path of right wisdom. The knowledge that is referred here is transcendental knowledge. Krishna referred to this in reverently, â€Å"In this world, there is nothing so sublime and pure as transcendental knowledge. Such knowledge is the mature fruit of mysticism. And one who has become accomplished in the practice of devotional service enjoys this knowledge within himself in the due course of time (Prabhupada, p. 168)†. What is referred here is spiritual understanding. It is the conclusion of the premise that the cause of our suffering and bondage is ignorance. This is the result of devotional service to Krishna. One finds peace within himself in this self-realization â€Å"Just fix your mind upon Me, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and engage all your intelligence in Me. Thus you will live in me always, without a doubt (Prabhupada, p. 433)†. This statement of the Lord Krishna embodies the path of love or bhakti yoga. This is love through expression of devotional services as prescribed in the vedas. There is acceptance that there is love of god in the hearts of everyone, many of these are impure by material association. One has to free his or her senses to be a true devotee. Conclusion All these paths ultimately lead to the supreme state of being. Nothing is indicated as being superior or more prominent among the three Paths. The Path of Wisdom or the dhyana or jhanna path could be in a bit in an elevated plane than bhakti and karma since Khrishna himself has described it in the indicated quote in superlative terms, â€Å"In this world, there is nothing so sublime and pure as transcendental knowledge. . . â€Å". What is being imparted in the Bhagavad Gita is for the three paths to serve as options to man. Through each, one may ultimately trod the other or perhaps not at all. Yet any of the three will lead to Nirvana.

The Twilight Saga 3: Eclipse Chapter 1. ULTIMATUM

Bella, I don't know why you're making Charlie carry notes to Billy like we're in second grade if I wanted to talk to you I would answer the You made the choice here, okay? You can't have it both ways when What part of ‘mortal enemies' is too complicated for you to Look, I know I'm being a jerk, but there's just no way around We can't be friends when you're spending all your time with a bunch of It just makes it worse when I think about you too much, so don't write anymore Yeah, I miss you, too. A lot. Doesn't change anything. Sorry. Jacob I ran my fingers across the page, feeling the dents where he had pressed the pen to the paper so hard that it had nearly broken through. I could picture him writing this?scrawling the angry letters in his rough handwriting, slashing through line after line when the words came out wrong, maybe even snapping the pen in his too-big hand; that would explain the ink splatters. I could imagine the frustration pulling his black eyebrows together and crumpling his forehead. If it'd been there, I might have laughed. Don't give yourself a brain hemorrhage, Jacob, I would have told him. Just spit it out. Laughing was the last thing I felt like doing now as I reread the words I'd already memorized. His answer to my pleading note?passed from Charlie to Billy to him, just like second grade, as he'd pointed out?was no surprise. I'd known the essence of what it would say before I'd opened it. What was surprising was how much each crossed-out line wounded me?as if the points of the letters had cutting edges. More than that, behind each angry beginning lurked a vast pool of hurt; Jacob's pain cut me deeper than my own. While I was pondering this, I caught the unmistakable scent of a smoking burner rising from the kitchen. In another house, the fact that someone besides myself was cooking might not be a cause for panicking. I shoved the wrinkled paper into my back pocket and ran. I made it downstairs in the nick of time. The jar of spaghetti sauce Charlie'd stuck in the microwave was only on its first revolution when I yanked the door open and pulled it out. â€Å"What did I do wrong?† Charlie demanded. â€Å"You're supposed to take the lid off first, Dad. Metal's bad for microwaves.† I swiftly removed the lid as I spoke, poured half the sauce into a bowl, and then put the bowl inside the microwave and the jar back in the fridge; I fixed the time and pressed start. Charlie watched my adjustments with pursed lips. â€Å"Did I get the noodle's right?† I looked in the pan on the stove?the source of the smell that had alerted me. â€Å"Stirring helps,† I said mildly. I found a spoon and tried to de-clump the mushy hunk that was scalded at the bottom. Charlie sighed. â€Å"So what's all this about?† I asked him. He folded his arms across his chest and glared out the back windows into the sheeting rain. â€Å"Don't know what you're talking about,† he grumbled. I was mystified. Charlie cooking? And what was with the surly attitude? Edward wasn't here yet; usually my dad reserved this kind of behavior for my boyfriend's benefit, doing his best to illustrate the theme of â€Å"unwelcome† with every word and posture. Charlie's efforts were unnecessary?Edward knew exactly what my dad was thinking without the show. The word boyfriend had me chewing on the inside of my cheek with familiar tension while I stirred. It wasn't the right word, not at all. I needed something more expressive of eternal commitment?. But words like destiny and fate sounded hokey when you used them in casual conversation. Edward had another word in mind, and that word was the source of the tension I felt. It put my teeth on edge just to think it to myself. Fiance. Ugh. I shuddered away from the though. â€Å"Did you miss something? Since when do you make dinner?† I asked Charlie. The pasta lump bobbed in the boiling water as I poked it. â€Å"Or try to make dinner, I should say.† Charlie shrugged. â€Å"There's no law that says I can't cook in my own house.† â€Å"You would know,† I replied, grinning as I eyed the badge pinned to his leather jacket. â€Å"Ha. Good one.† He shrugged out of the jacket as if my glance had reminded him he still had it on, and hung it on the peg reserved for his gear. His gun belt was already slung in place?he hadn't felt the need to wear that to the station for a few weeks. There had been no more disturbing disappearances to trouble the small town of Forks, Washington, no more sighting of the giant, mysterious wolves in the ever-rainy woods?. I prodded the noodles in silence, guessing that Charlie would get around to talking about whatever was bothering him in his own time. My dad was not a man of many words, and the effort he had put into trying to orchestrate a sit-down dinner with me made it clear there were an unusual characteristic number of words on his mind. I glanced at the clock routinely?something I did every few minutes around this time. Less than a half hour to go now. Afternoons were the hardest part of my day. Ever since my former best friend (and werewolf), Jacob Black, had informed on me about the motorcycle I'd been riding on the sly?a betrayal he had devised in order to get my grounded so that I couldn't spend time with my boyfriend (and vampire), Edward Cullen?Edward had been allowed to see me only from seven till nine-thirty p.m., always inside the confines of my home and under the supervision of my dad's unfailingly crabby glare. This was an escalation from the previous, slightly less stringent grounding that I'd earned from an unexplained three-day disappearance and one episode of cliff diving. Of course, I still saw Edward at school, because there wasn't anything Charlie could do about that. And then, Edward spent almost every night in my room, too, but Charlie wasn't precisely aware of that. Edward's ability to climb easily and silently through my second-story window was almost as useful as his ability to read Charlie's mind. Though the afternoon was the only time I spent away from Edward, it was enough to make me restless, and the hours always dragged. Still, I endured my punishment without complaining because?for one thing?I knew I'd earned it, and?for another?because I couldn't bear to hurt my dad by moving out now, when a much more permanent separation hovered, invisible to Charlie, so close on my horizon. My dad sat down at the table with a grunt and unfolded the damp newspaper there; within seconds he was clucking his tongue in disapproval. â€Å"I don't know why you read the paper, Dad. It only ticks you off.† He ignored me, grumbling at the paper in his hands. â€Å"This is why everyone wants to live in a small town! Ridiculous.† â€Å"What have big cities done wrong now?† â€Å"Seattle's making a run for murder capitol of the country. Five unsolved homicides in the last two weeks. Can you imagine living like that?† â€Å"I think Phoenix is actually higher up in the homicide list, Dad. I have lived like that.† And I'd never come close to being a murder victim until after I moved to his safe little town. In fact, was still on several hit lists?. The spoon shook in my hands, making the water tremble. â€Å"Well, you couldn't pay me enough,† Charlie said. I gave up on saving dinner and settled for serving it; I had to use a steak knife to cut a portion of spaghetti for Charlie and then myself, while he watched with a sheepish expression. Charlie coated his helping with sauce and dug in. I disguised my own clump as well as I could and followed his example without much enthusiasm. We ate in silence for a moment. Charlie was still scanning the news, so I picked up my much-abused copy of Wuthering Heights from where I'd left it this morning at breakfast, and tried to lose myself in the turn-of-the-century England while I waited for him to start talking. I was just to the part where Heathcliff returns when Charlie cleared his throat and threw the paper to the floor. â€Å"You're right,† Charlie said. â€Å"I did have a reason for doing this.† He waved his fork at the gluey spread. â€Å"I wanted to talk to you.† I laid the book aside; the binding was so destroyed that it slumped flat to the table. â€Å"You could have just asked.† He nodded, his eyebrows pulling together. â€Å"Yeah. I'll remember that next time. I thought taking dinner off your hands would soften you up.† I laughed. â€Å"It worked?your cooking skills have me soft as a marshmallow. What do you need, Dad?† â€Å"Well, it's about Jacob.† I felt my face harden. â€Å"What about him?† I asked through stiff lips. â€Å"Easy, Bells. I know you're still upset that he told on you, but it was the right thing. He was being responsible.† â€Å"Responsible,† I repeated scathingly, rolling my eyes. â€Å"Right. So what about Jacob?† The careless question repeated inside my head, anything but trivial. What about Jacob? What was I going to do about him? My former best friend who was now?what? My enemy? I cringed. Charlie's face was suddenly wary. â€Å"Don't get mad at me, okay?† â€Å"Mad?† â€Å"Well, it's about Edward, too.† My eyes narrowed. Charlie's voice got gruffer. â€Å"I let him in the house, don't I?† â€Å"You do,† I admitted. â€Å"For brief periods of time. Of course, you might let me out of the house for brief periods of time now and then, too,† I continued?only jokingly; I knew I was on lockdown for the duration of the school year. â€Å"I've been pretty good lately.† â€Å"Well, that's kind of where I was heading with this?.† And then Charlie's face stretched into an unexpected eye-crinkling grin; for a second he looked twenty years younger. I saw a dim glimmer of possibility in that smile, but I proceeded slowly. â€Å"I'm confused, Dad. Are we talking about Jacob, or Edward, or me being grounded?† The grin flashed again. â€Å"Sort of all three.† â€Å"And how do they relate?† I asked, cautious. â€Å"Okay.† He sighed, raising his hands as if in surrender. â€Å"So I'm thinking maybe you deserve a parole for good behavior. For a teenager, you're surprisingly non-whiney.† My voice and eyebrows shot up. â€Å"Seriously? I'm free?† Where was this coming from? I'd been positive I would be under house arrest until I actually moved out, and Edward hadn't picked up any wavering in Charlie's thoughts?. Charlie held up one finger. â€Å"Conditionally.† The enthusiasm vanished. â€Å"Fantastic,† I groaned. â€Å"Bella, this is more of a request than a demand, okay? You're free. But I'm hoping you'll use that freedom?judiciously.† â€Å"What does that mean?† He sighed again. â€Å"I know you're satisfied to spend all your time with Edward?† â€Å"I spend time with Alice, too,† I interjected. Edward's sister had no hours of visitation; she came and went as she pleased. Charlie was putty in her capable hands. â€Å"That's true,† he said. â€Å"But you have other friends besides the Cullens, Bella. Or you used to.† We stared at each other for a long moment. † When was the last time you spoke to Angela Weber?† he threw at me. â€Å"Friday at lunch,† I answered immediately. Before Edward's return, my school friends had polarized into two groups. I liked to think of those groups as good vs. evil. Us and them worked, too. The good guys were Angela, her steady boyfriend Ben Cheney, and Mike Newton; these three had all very generously forgiven me for going crazy when Edward left. Lauren Mallory was the evil core of the them side, and almost everyone else, including my first friend in Forks, Jessica Stanley, seemed content to go along with her anti-Bella agenda. With Edward back at school, the dividing line had become even more distinct. Edward's return had taken its toll on Mike's friendship, but Angela was unswervingly loyal, and Ben followed her lead. Despite the natural aversion most humans felt toward the Cullens, Angela sat dutifully beside Alice every day at lunch. After a few weeks, Angela even looked comfortable there. It was difficult not to be charmed by the Cullens?once one gave them the chance to be charming. â€Å"Outside of school?† Charlie asked, calling my attention back. â€Å"I haven't seen anyone outside of school, Dad. Grounded, remember? And Angela has a boyfriend, too. She's always with Ben. If I'm really free,† I added, heavy on the skepticism, â€Å"maybe we could double.† â€Å"Okay. But then?† He hesitated. â€Å"You and Jake used to be joined at the hip, and now?† I cut him off. â€Å"Can you get to the point, Dad? What's your condition?exactly?† â€Å"I don't think you should dump all your other friends for your boyfriend, Bella,† he said in a stern voice. â€Å"It's not nice, and I think your life would be better balanced if you kept some other people in it. What happened last September?† I flinched. â€Å"Well,† he said defensively. â€Å"If you'd had more of a life outside of Edward Cullen, it might not have been like that.† â€Å"It would have been exactly like that,† I muttered. â€Å"Maybe, maybe not.† â€Å"The point?† I reminded him. â€Å"Use your new freedom to see your other friends, too. Keep it balanced.† I nodded slowly. â€Å"Balance is good. Do I have specific time quotas to fill, though?† He made a face, but shook his head. â€Å"I don't want to make this complicated. Just don't forget about your friends?particularly Jacob.† It took me a moment to find the right words. â€Å"Jacob might be?difficult.† â€Å"The Blacks are practically family, Bella† he said, stern and fatherly again. â€Å"And Jacob has been a very, very good friend to you.† â€Å"I know that.† â€Å"Don't you miss him at all?† Charlie asked, frustrated. My throat suddenly felt swollen; I had to clear it twice before I answered. â€Å"Yes, I do miss him,† I admitted, still looking down. â€Å"I miss him a lot.† â€Å"Then why is it difficult?† It wasn't something I was at liberty to explain. It was against the rules for normal people?human people like me and Charlie?to know about the clandestine world full of myths and monsters that existed secretly around us. I knew all about that world?and I was in no small amount of trouble as a result. I wasn't about to get Charlie in the same trouble. â€Å"With Jacob there is?a conflict,† I said slowly. â€Å"A conflict about the friendship thing, I mean. Friendship doesn't always seem to be enough for Jake.† I wound my excuse out of details that were true but insignificant, hardly crucial compared to the fact that Jacob's werewolf pack bitterly hated Edward's vampire family?and therefore me, too, as I fully intended to join that family. It just wasn't something I could work out with him in a note, and he wouldn't answer my calls. But my plan to deal with the werewolf in person had definitely not gone over will with the vampires. â€Å"Isn't Edward up for a little healthy competition?† Charlie's voice was sarcastic now. I leveled a dark look at him. â€Å"There's no competition.† â€Å"You're hurting Jake's feelings, avoiding him like this. He'd rather be just friends than nothing.† Oh, now I was avoiding him? â€Å"I'm pretty sure Jake doesn't want to be friends at all.† The words burned in my mouth. â€Å"Where'd you get that idea, anyway?† Charlie looked embarrassed now. â€Å"The subject might have come up today with Billy?.† â€Å"You and Billy gossip like old women,† I complained, stabbing my fork viciously into the congealed spaghetti on my plate. â€Å"Billy's worried about Jacob,† Charlie said. â€Å"Jake's having a hard time right now?. He's depressed.† I winced, but kept my eyes on the blob. â€Å"And then you were always so happy after spending the day with Jake.† Charlie sighed. â€Å"I'm happy now,† I growled fiercely through my teeth. The contrast between my words and tone broke through the tension. Charlie burst into laughter, and I had to join in. â€Å"Okay, okay,† I agreed. â€Å"Balance.† â€Å"And Jacob,† he insisted. â€Å"I'll try.† â€Å"Good. Find that balance, Bella. And, oh, yeah, you've got some mail,† Charlie said, closing the subject with no attempt at subtlety. â€Å"It's by the stove.† I didn't move, my thoughts twisting into snarls around Jacob's name. It was most likely junk mail; I'd just gotten a package from my mom yesterday and I wasn't expecting anything else. Charlie shoved his chair away from the table stretched as he got to his feet. He took his plate to the sink, but before he turned the water on to rinse it, he paused to toss a thick envelope at me. The letter skidded across the table and thunked into my elbow. â€Å"Er, thanks,† I muttered, puzzled by his pushiness. Then I saw the return address?the letter was from the University of Alaska Southeast. â€Å"That was quick. I guess I missed the deadline on that one, too.† Charlie chuckled. I flipped the envelope over and then glared up at him. â€Å"It's open.† â€Å"I was curious.† â€Å"I'm shocked, Sheriff. That's a federal crime.† â€Å"Oh, just read it.† I pulled out the letter, and a folded schedule of courses. â€Å"Congratulations,† he said before I could read anything. â€Å"Your first acceptance.† â€Å"Thanks, Dad.† â€Å"We should talk about tuition. I've got some money saved up?† â€Å"Hey, hey, none of that. I'm not touching your retirement, Dad. I've got my college fund.† What was left of it?and there hadn't been much to begin with. Charlie frowned. â€Å"Some of these places are pretty pricey, Bells. I want to help. You don't have to go all the way to Alaska just because it's cheaper.† It wasn't cheaper, not at all. But it was far away, and Juneau had an average of three hundred twenty-one overcast days per year. The first was my prerequisite, the second was Edward's. â€Å"I've got it covered. Besides, there's lots of financial aid out there. It's easy to get loans.† I hoped my bluff wasn't too obvious. I hadn't actually done a lot of research on the subject. â€Å"So?,† Charlie began, and then pursed his lips and looked away. â€Å"So what?† â€Å"Nothing. I was just?† He frowned. â€Å"Just wondering what?Edward's plans are for next year?† â€Å"Oh.† â€Å"Well?† Three quick raps on the door saved me. Charlie rolled his eyes and I jumped up. â€Å"Coming!† I called while Charlie mumbled something that sounded like, â€Å"Go away.† I ignored him and went to let Edward in. I wrenched the door out of my way?ridiculously eager?and there he was, my personal miracle. Time had not made me immune to the perfection of his face, and I was sure that I would never take any aspect of him for granted. My eyes traced over his pale white features; the hard square of his jaw, the softer curve of his full lips?twisted up into a smile now, the straight line of his nose, the sharp angle of his cheekbones, the smooth marble span of his forehead?partially obscured by a tangle of rain-darkened bronze hair?. I saved his eyes for last, knowing that when I looked into them I was likely to lose my train of thought. They were wide, warm with liquid gold, and framed by a thick fringe of black lashes. Staring into his eyes always made me feel extraordinary?sort of like my bones were turning spongy. I was also a little lightheaded, but that could have been because I'd forgotten to keep breathing. It was a face any male model in the world would trade his soul for. Of course, that might be exactly the asking price: one soul. No. I didn't believe that. I felt guilty for even thinking it, and was glad?as I was often glad?that I was the one person whose thoughts were a mystery to Edward. I reached for his hand, and sighed when his cold fingers found mine. His touch brought with it the strangest sense of relief?as if I'd been in pain and than pain had suddenly ceased. â€Å"Hey.† I smiled a little at my anticlimactic greeting. He raised our interlaced fingers to brush my cheek with the back of his hand. â€Å"How was your afternoon?† â€Å"Slow.† â€Å"For me, as well.† He pulled my wrist up to his face, our hands still twisted together. His eyes closed as his nose skimmed along the skin there, and he smiled gently without opening them. Enjoying the bouquet while resisting the wine, as he'd once put it. I knew that the scent of my blood?so much sweeter to him than any other person's blood, truly like wine beside water to an alcoholic?caused him actual pain from the burning thirst it engendered. But he didn't seem to shy away from it as much as he once had. I could only dimly imagine the Herculean effort behind this simple gesture. It made me sad that he had to try so hard. I comforted myself with the knowledge that I wouldn't be causing him pain much longer. I heard Charlie approaching then, stamping his feet on the way to express his customary displeasure with our guest. Edward's eyes snapped open and let our hands fall, keeping them twined. â€Å"Good evening, Charlie.† Edward was always flawlessly polite, though Charlie didn't deserve it. Charlie grunted at him, and then stood there with his arms crossed over his chest. He was taking the idea of parental supervision to extremes lately. â€Å"I brought another set of applications,† Edward told me then, holding up a stuffed manila envelope. He was wearing a roll of stamps like a ring around his littlest finger. I groaned. How were there any colleges left that he hadn't forced me to apply to already? And how did he keep finding these loophole openings? It was so late in the year. He smiled as if he could read my thoughts; they must have been very obvious on my face. â€Å"There are still a few open deadlines. And a few places willing to make exceptions.† I could just imagine the motivations behind such exceptions. And the dollar amounts involved. Edward laughed at my expression. â€Å"Shall we?† he asked, towing me toward the kitchen table. Charlie huffed and followed behind, though he could hardly complain about the activity on tonight's agenda. He'd been pestering me to make a decision about college on a daily basis. I cleared the table quickly while Edward organized an intimidating stack of forms. When I moved Wuthering Heights to the counter, Edward raised one eyebrow. I knew what he was thinking, but Charlie interrupted before Edward could comment. â€Å"Speaking of college applications, Edward,† Charlie said, his tone even more sullen?he tried to avoid addressing Edward directly, and when he had to, it exacerbated his bad mood. â€Å"Bella and I were just talking about next year. Have you decided where you're going to school?† Edward smiled up at Charlie and his voice was friendly. â€Å"Not yet. I've received a few acceptance letters, but I'm still weighing my options.† â€Å"Where have you been accepted?† Charlie pressed. â€Å"Syracuse?Harvard?Dartmouth?and I just got accepted to the University of Alaska Southeast today.† Edward turned his face slightly to the side so that he could wink at me. I stifled a giggle. â€Å"Harvard? Dartmouth?† Charlie mumbled, unable to conceal his awe. â€Å"Well that's pretty?that's something. Yeah, but the University of Alaska?you wouldn't really consider that when you could go Ivy League. I mean, your father would want you to?† â€Å"Carlisle's always fine with whatever I choose to do,† Edward told him serenely. â€Å"Hmph.† â€Å"Guess what, Edward?† I asked in a bright voice, playing along. â€Å"What, Bella?† I pointed to the thick envelope on the counter. â€Å"I just got my acceptance to the University of Alaska!† â€Å"Congratulations!† He grinned. â€Å"What a coincidence.† Charlie's eyes narrowed and he glared back and forth between the two of us. â€Å"Fine,† he muttered after a minute. â€Å"I'm going to watch the game, Bella. Nine-thirty.† That was his usual parting command. â€Å"Er, Dad? Remember the very recent discussion about my freedom† He sighed. â€Å"Right . Okay, ten-thirty. You still have a curfew on school nights.† â€Å"Bella's no longer grounded?† Edward asked. Though I knew he wasn't really surprised, I couldn't detect any false note to the sudden excitement in his voice. â€Å"Conditionally,† Charlie corrected through his teeth. â€Å"What's it to you?† I frowned at my dad, but he didn't see. â€Å"It's just good to know,† Edward said. â€Å"Alice has been itching for a shopping partner, and I'm sure Bella would love to see some city lights.† He smiled at me. But Charlie growled, â€Å"No!† and his face flushed purple. â€Å"Dad! What's the problem?† He made an effort to unclench his teeth. â€Å"I don't want you going to Seattle right now.† â€Å"Huh?† â€Å"I told you about that story in the paper?there's some kind of gang on a killing spree in Seattle and I want you to steer clear, okay?† I rolled my eyes. â€Å"Dad, there's a better chance that I'l l get struck by lightning than the one day I'm in Seattle?† â€Å"No, that's fine, Charlie,† Edward said, interrupting me. â€Å"I didn't mean Seattle. I was thinking Portland, actually. I wouldn't have Bella in Seattle, either. Of course not.† I looked at him in disbelief, but he had Charlie's newspaper in his hands and he was reading the front page intently. He must have been trying to placate my dad. The idea of being in danger from even the most deadly of humans while I was with Alice or Edward was downright hilarious. It worked. Charlie stared at Edward for one second more, and then shrugged. â€Å"Fine.† He stalked off toward the living room, in a bit of a hurry now?maybe he didn't want to miss tip-off. I waited till the TV was on, so that Charlie wouldn't be able to hear me. â€Å"What?,† I started to ask. â€Å"Hold on,† Edward said without looking up from the paper. His eyes stayed focused on the page as he pushed the first application toward me across the table. â€Å"I think you can recycle your essays for this one. Same questions.† Charlie must still be listening. I sighed and started to fill out the repetitive information: name, address, social?. After a few minutes I glanced up, but Edward was now staring pensively out the window. As I bent my head back to my work, I noticed for the first time the name of the school. I snorted and shoved the papers aside. â€Å"Bella?† â€Å"Be serious, Edward. Dartmouth?† Edward lifted the discarded application a nd laid it gently in front of me again. â€Å"I think you'd like New Hampshire,† he said. â€Å"There's a full complement of night courses for me, and the forests are conveniently located for the avid hiker. Plentiful wildlife.† He pulled out that crooked smile he knew I couldn't resist. I took a deep breath through my nose. â€Å"I'll let you pay me back, if that makes you happy,† he promised. â€Å"If you want, I can charge you interest.† â€Å"Like I could even get in without some enormous bribe. Or was that part of the loan? The new Cullen wing of the library? Ugh. Why are we having this discussion again?† â€Å"Will you just fill out the application, please, Bella? It won't hurt you to apply.† My jaw flexed. â€Å"You know what? I don't think I will.† I reached for the papers, planning to crumple them into a suitable shape for lobbing at the trashcan, but they were already gone. I stared at the empty table for a moment, and then at Edward. He didn't appear to have moved, but the application was probably already tucked away in his jacket. â€Å"What are you doing?† I demanded. â€Å"I sign your name better than you do yourself. You've already written the essays.† â€Å"You're going way overboard with this, you kno w.† I whispered on the off chance that Charlie wasn't completely lost in the game. â€Å"I really don't need to apply anywhere else. I've been accepted in Alaska. I can almost afford the first semester's tuition. It's as good an alibi as any. There's no need to throw away a bunch of money, no matter whose it is.† A pained look tightened his face. â€Å"Bella?† â€Å"Don't start. I agree that I need to go through the motions for Charlie's sake, but we both know that I'm not going to be in any condition to go to school next fall. To be anywhere near people.† My knowledge of those first few years as a new vampire was sketchy. Edward had never gone into details?it wasn't his favorite subject?but I knew it wasn't pretty. Self-control was apparently an acquired skill. Anything more than correspondence school was out of the question. â€Å"I thought the timing was still undecided,† Edward reminded me softly. â€Å"You might enjoy a semester or two of college. There are a lot of human experiences you've never had.† â€Å"I'll get to those afterward.† â€Å"They won't be human experiences afterward. You don't get a second chance at humanity, Bella.† I sighed. â€Å"You've got to be reasonable about the timing, Edward. It's just too dangerous to mess around with.† â€Å"There's no danger yet,† he insisted. I glared at him. No danger? Sure. I only had a sadistic vampire trying to avenge her mate's death with my own, preferably through some slow and tortuous method. Who was worried about Victoria? And, oh yeah, the Volturi?the vampire royal family with their small army of vampire warriors?who insisted that my heart stop beating one way or another in the near future, because humans weren't allowed to know they existed. Right. No reason at all to panic. Even with Alice keeping watch?Edward was relying on her uncannily accurate visions of the future to give us advance warning?it was insane to take chances. Besides, I'd already won this argument. The date for my transformation was tentatively set for shortly after my graduation from high school, only a handful of weeks away. A sharp jolt of unease pierced my stomach as I realized how short the time really was. Of course this change was necessary?and the key to what I wanted more than everything else in the world put together?but I was deeply conscious of Charlie sitting in the other room enjoying his game, just like every other night. And my mother, Renee, far away in sunny Florida, still pleading with me to spend the summer on the beach with her and her new husband. And Jacob, who, unlike my parents, would know exactly what was going on when I disappeared to some distant school. Even if my parents didn't grow suspicious for a long time, even if I could put off visits with excuses about travel expenses or sturdy loads or illnesses, Jacob would know the truth. For a moment, the idea of Jacob's certain revulsion overshadowed every other pain. â€Å"Bella,† Edward murmured, his face twisting when he read the distress in mine. â€Å"There's no hurry. I won't let anyone hurt you. You can take all the time you need.† â€Å"I want to hurry,† I whispered, smiling weakly, trying to make a joke of it. â€Å"I want to be a monster, too.† His teeth clenched; he spoke through them. â€Å"You have no idea what you're saying.† Abruptly, he flung the damp newspaper onto the table between us. His finger stabbed the headline on the front page: DEATH TOLL ON THE RISE, POLICE FEAR GANG ACTIVITY â€Å"What does that have to do with anything?† â€Å"Monsters are not a joke, Bella.† I stared at the headline again, and then up to his hard expression. â€Å"A?a vampire is doing this?† I whispered. He smiled without humor. His voice was low and cold. â€Å"You'd be surprised, Bella, at how often my kind are the source behind the horrors in your human news. It's easy to recognize, when you know what to look for. The information here indicates a newborn vampire is loose in Seattle. Bloodthirsty, wild, out of control. The way we all were.† I let my gaze drop to the paper again, avoiding his eyes. â€Å"We've been monitoring the situation for a few weeks. All the signs are there?the unlikely disappearances, always in the night, the poorly disposed-of corpses, the lack of other evidence?. Yes, someone brand-new. And no one seems to be taking responsibility for the neophyte?.† He took a deep breath. â€Å"Well, it's not our problem. We wouldn't even pay attention to the situation if it wasn't going on so close to home. Like I said, this happens all the time. The existence of monsters results in monstrous consequences.† I tried not to see the names on the page, but they jumped out from the rest of the print like they were in bold. The five people whose lives were over, whose families were mourning now. It was different from considering murder in the abstract, reading those names. Maureen Gardiner, Geoffrey Campbell, Grace Razi, Michelle O'Connell, Ronald Albrook. People who'd had parents and children and friends and pets and jobs and hopes and plans and memories and futures?. â€Å"It won't be the same for me,† I whispered, half to myself. â€Å"You won't let me be like that. We'll live in Antarctica.† Edward snorted, breaking the tension. â€Å"Penguins. Lovely.† I laughed a shaky laugh and knocked the paper off the table so I wouldn't have to see those names; it hit the linoleum with a thud. Of course Edward would consider the hunting possibilities. He and his â€Å"vegetarian† family?all committed to protecting human life?preferred the flavor of large predators for satisfying their dietary needs. â€Å"Alaska, then, as planned. Only somewhere much more remote than Juneau?somewhere with grizzlies galore.† â€Å"Better,† he allowed. â€Å"There are polar bears, too. Very fierce. And the wolves get quite large.† My mouth fell open and my breath blew out in a sharp gust. â€Å"What's wrong?† he asked. Before I could recover, the confusion vanished and his whole body seemed to harden. â€Å"Oh. Never mind the wolves, then, if the idea is offensive to you.† His voice was stiff, formal, his shoulders rigid. â€Å"He was my best friend, Edward,† I muttered. It stung to use the past tense. â€Å"Of course the idea offends me.† â€Å"Please forgive my thoughtlessness,† he said, still very formal. â€Å"I shouldn't have suggested that.† â€Å"Don't worry about it.† I stared at my hands, clenched into a double fist on the table. We were both silent for a moment, and then his cool finger was under my chin, coaxing my face up. His expression was much softer now. â€Å"Sorry. Really.† â€Å"I know. I know it's not the same thing. I shouldn't have reacted that way. It's just that?well, I was already thinking about Jacob before you came over.† I hesitated. His tawny eyes seemed to get a little but darker whenever I said Jacob's name. My voice turned pleading in response. â€Å"Charlie says Jake is having a hard time. He's hurting right now, and?it's my fault.† â€Å"You've done nothing wrong, Bella.† I took a deep breath. â€Å"I need to make it better, Edward. I owe him that. And it's one of Charlie's conditions, anyway?† His face changed while I spoke, turning hard again, statue-like. â€Å"You know it's out of the question for you to be around a werewolf unprotected, Bella. And it would break the treaty if any of us cross over onto their land. Do you want us to start a war?† â€Å"Of course not!† â€Å"Then there's really no point in discussing the matter further.† He dropped his hand and looked away, searching for a subject change. His eyes paused on something behind me, though his eyes stayed wary. â€Å"I'm glad Charlie has decided to let you out?you're sadly in need of a visit to the bookstore. I can't believe you're reading Wuthering Heights again. Don't you know it by heart yet?† â€Å"Not all of us have photographic memories,† I said curtly. â€Å"Photographic memory or not, I don't understand why you like it. The characters are ghastly people who ruin each others' lives. I don't know how Heathcliff and Cathy ended up being ranked with couples like Romeo and Juliet or Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. It isn't a love story, it's a hate story.† â€Å"You have some serious issues with the classics,† I snapped. â€Å"Perhaps it's because I'm not impressed by antiquity.† He smiled, evidently satisfied that he'd distracted me. â€Å"Honestly though, why do you read it over and over?† His eyes were vivid with real interest now, trying?again?to unravel the convoluted workings of my mind. He reached across the table to cradle my face in his hand. â€Å"What is it that appeals to you?† His sincere curiosity disarmed me. â€Å"I'm not sure,† I said, scrambling for coherency while his gaze unintentionally scattered my thoughts. â€Å"I think it's something about the inevitability. How nothing can keep them apart?not her selfishness, or his evil, or even death, in the end?.† His face was thoughtful as he considered my words. After a moment he smiled a teasing smile. â€Å"I still think it would be a better story if either of them had one redeeming quality.† â€Å"I think that may be the point,† I disagreed. â€Å"Their love is their only redeeming quality.† â€Å"I hope you have better sense than that?to fall in love with someone so?malignant.† â€Å"It's a bit late for me to worry about who I fall in love with,† I pointed out. â€Å"But even without the warning, I seem to have managed fairly well.† He laughed quietly. â€Å"I'm glad you think so.† â€Å"Well, I hope you're smart enough to stay away from someone so selfish. Catherine is really the source of all the trouble, not Heathcliff.† â€Å"I'll be on my guard,† he promised. I sighed. He was so good at distractions. I put my hand over his to hold it to my face. â€Å"I need to see Jacob.† His eyes closed. â€Å"No.† â€Å"It's truly not dangerous at all,† I said, pleading again. â€Å"I used to spend all day in La Push with the whole lot of them, and nothing every happened.† But I made a slip; my voice faltered at the end because I realized as I was saying the words that they were a lie. It was not true that nothing had ever happened. A brief flash of memory?an enormous gray wolf crouched to spring, baring his dagger-like teeth at me?had my palms sweating with an echo of remembered panic. Edward heard my heart accelerate and nodded as if I'd acknowledged the lie aloud. â€Å"Werewolves are unstable. Sometimes the people near them get hurt. Sometimes, they get killed.† I wanted to deny it, but another image slowed my rebuttal. I saw in my head the once beautiful face of Emily Young, now marred by a trio of dark scars that dragged down the corner of her right eye and left her mouth warped forever into a lopsided scowl. He waited, grimly triumphant, for me to find my voice. â€Å"You don't know them,† I whispered. â€Å"I know them better than you think, Bella. I was here the last time.† â€Å"The last time?† â€Å"We started crossing paths with the wolves about seventy years ago?. We had just settled near Hoquiam. That was before Alice and Jasper were with us. We outnumbered them, but that wouldn't have stopped it from turning into a fight if not for Carlisle. He managed to convince Ephraim Black that coexisting was possible, and eventually we made the truce.† Jacob's great-grandfather's name startled me. â€Å"We thought the line had died out with Ephraim,† Edward muttered; it sounded like he was talking to himself now. â€Å"That the genetic quirk which allowed transmutation had been lost?.† He broke off and stared at me accusingly. â€Å"Your bad luck seems to get more potent every day. Do you realize that your insatiable pull for all things deadly was strong enough to recover a pack of mutant canines from extinction? If we could bottle your luck, we'd have a weapon of mass destruction on our hands.† I ignored the ribbing, my attention caught by his assumption?was he serious? â€Å"But I didn't bring them back. Don't you know?† â€Å"Know what?† â€Å"My bad luck has nothing to do with it. The werewolves came back because the vampires did.† Edward stared at me, his body motionless with surprise. â€Å"Jacob told me that your family being here set things in motion. I thought you would already know?.† His eyes narrowed. â€Å"Is that what they think?† â€Å"Edward, look at the facts. Seventy years ago, you came here, and the werewolves showed up. You come back now, and the werewolves show up again. Do you think that's a coincidence?† He blinked and his glare relaxed. â€Å"Carlisle will be interested in that theory.† â€Å"Theory,† I scoffed. He was silent for a moment, staring out the window into the rain; I imagined he was contemplating the fact that his family's presence was turning the locals into giant dogs. â€Å"Interesting, but not exactly relevant,† he murmured after a moment. â€Å"The situation remains the same.† I could translate that easily enough: no werewolf friends. I knew I must be patient with Edward. It wasn't that he was unreasonable; it was just that he didn't understand. He had no idea how very much I owed Jacob Black?my life many times over, and possibly my sanity, too. I didn't like to talk about that barren time with anyone, and especially not Edward. He had only been trying to save me when he'd left, trying to save my soul. I didn't hold him responsible for all the stupid things I'd done in his absence, or the pain I had suffered. He did. So I would have to word my explanation very carefully. I got up and walked around the table. He opened his arms for me and I sat on his lap, nestling into his cool stone embrace. I looked at his hands while I spoke. â€Å"Please just listen for a minute. This is so much more important than some whim to drop in on an old friend. Jacob is in pain.† My voice distorted around the word. â€Å"I can't not try to help him?I can't give up on him now, when he needs me. Just because he's not human all the time?. Well, he was there for me when I was?not so human myself. You don't know what it was like?.† I hesitated. Edward's arms were rigid around me; his hands were in fists now, the tendons standing out. â€Å"If Jacob hadn't helped me?I'm not sure what you would have come home to. I have to try and make it better. I owe him better than this, Edward.† I looked up at his face warily. His eyes were closed, and his jaw was strained. â€Å"I'll never forgive myself for leaving you,† he whispered. â€Å"Not if I live a hundred thousand years.† I put my hand against his cold face and waited until he sighed and opened his eyes. â€Å"You were just trying to do the right thing. And I'm sure it would have worked with anyone less mental than me. Besides, you're here now. That's the part that matters.† â€Å"If it'd never left, you wouldn't feel the need to go risk your life to comfort a dog.† I flinched. I was used to Jacob and all his derogatory slurs?bloodsucker, leech, parasite?. Somehow it sounded harsher in Edward's velvet voice. â€Å"I don't know how to phrase this properly,† Edward said, and his tone was bleak. â€Å"It's going to sound cruel, I suppose. But I've come too close to losing you in the past. I know what it feels like to think I have. I am not going to tolerate anything dangerous.† â€Å"You have to trust me on this. I'll be fine.† His face was pained again. â€Å"Please, Bella,† he whispered. I stared into his suddenly burning golden eyes. â€Å"Please what?† â€Å"Please, for me. Please make a conscious effort to keep yourself safe. I'll do everything I can, but I would appreciate a little help.† â€Å"I'll work on it,† I murmured. â€Å"Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love?† He pulled me tighter against his hard chest, tucking my head under his chin. I pressed my lips against his snow-cold neck. â€Å"I know how much I love you,† I answered. â€Å"You compare one small tree to the entire forest.† I rolled my eyes, but he couldn't see. â€Å"Impossible.† He kissed the top of my head and sighed. â€Å"No werewolves.† â€Å"I'm not going along with that. I have to see Jacob.† â€Å"Then I'll have to stop you.† He sounded utterly confident that this wouldn't be a problem. I was sure he was right. â€Å"We'll see about that,† I bluffed anyway. â€Å"He's still my friend.† I could feel Jacob's note in my pocket, like it suddenly weighed ten pounds. I could hear the words in his voice, and he seemed to be agreeing with Edward?something that would never happen in reality. Doesn't change anything. Sorry.